The Daily Doss

Whew!  2008 was a doozy.  Sure, the shining beacon that is Barack Obama brought America’s world stock up in November and is giving us hope going into 2009.  Otherwise, we Americans have taken quite a beating this year.  Between political sex scandals (Spitzer, Edwards), political scandals (Blagojevich), the economic downturn, Madoff’s addition to the economic downturn, the on-going war in Iraq, the GOP’s distribution of “Obama, the Magic Negro” CDs, and the phenomenon that was Sarah Palin, America has had a bit of a schizophrenic year.

Actually, it reminds me of Britney Spears circa 2007.  Remember when she performed at the MTV awards and was embarrassingly awful?  Remember when you could find new pictures of her gynecological regions every other day?  Remember when she was bald and attacked a reporter with an umbrella?  It seemed as if there was no hope for her at the time, right?  Baby,  look at her now!  With her new album, Circus, Britney is back on top.  I won’t say she is anywhere near the level she was at when she was singing “Toxic” or “Baby, One More Time,” but she can now, at least, consistently perform at a serviceable level.

I wish this for America in the upcoming year.  I hope that we can get through 2009 without any more out-of-the-norm screw ups.  Notice I didn’t write “without ANY screw ups.”  I pray that we can go through a sustained stretch of time in which a person holding a substantial position in office isn’t found out to be spending thousands on prostitutes, or calling the President-Elect a “m**tha f**ker” or making a CD calling him a “Magic Negro.”  Please, politicians, don’t be like Blagojevich and try your hand at  entrepreneurial endeavors.  Do not try to be like Conservative Paul Shanklin and improve upon classic children’s songs by infusing them with racism.  Do not emulate Spitzer and pay for high-class call girls with credit cards and leave a paper trail.  Cash only, please!

And to Americans: No more loans that seem too good to be true and for God’s sake, no more Ponzi schemes!  Let’s just all stick to trying to make things a little better.  We know the mistakes we’ve made this year that have led us to this point, so let’s make a collective New Year’s resolution as a country.  Let’s work together to figure out how to get our troops out of Iraq, how to work ourselves out of personal and national debt, and generate some jobs.  Let’s try to have a turnaround in 2009 like Britney Spears had in late 2008, huh?

Listen, America: We can do it!  If Britney Spears can turn things around, anything is possible.